Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
