I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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