We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
