She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Randomize
