I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Randomize
