I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
