I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
You work out of a Hotel?
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Randomize
