kristin has been a bad kristin
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
You left your phone here
Wait...
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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