I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
