That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Randomize