wat bout pragnant strippers??
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
