she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
My vagina just clenched in fear
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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