The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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