Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.