The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
