btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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