So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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