just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Randomize
