booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
