Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
