let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
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