Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
