i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize