Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
