I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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