FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
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