Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Randomize
