i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
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We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
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Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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