I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
