so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
