I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
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It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
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I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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