it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
