Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Randomize