I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Randomize
