I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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