That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
