feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
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