I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
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