these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Randomize
