Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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