im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Randomize