I think my fart just growled at me.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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