kristin has been a bad kristin
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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