i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
