So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
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