you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
