Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
