im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize
