For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
