I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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