I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Little spoons don't ask big questions
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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