I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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