she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
There's always time for handjobs
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
