no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
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