I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
