its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
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