she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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